Headvoice

Home Sick

Suddenly New York looks more like home again... it is where things more often really happen as opposed to just being talked about. This is probably just the winter doldrums; a substantial and personal emotional cabin fever outbreak, but I am really and honestly disturbed by the intractable sentiments surrounding me.

Change is vital, not something you avoid at all costs. Is it Toronto or me?

In another reversal of circumstances I could be living back on the East Side of Manhattan in two weeks... and I fear my heart is beginning to break.

The ice is thin... the weight is too heavy.

Trying

Can you please get out the list. The one in the file folder marked "end of the world."

Yes, that's the one. Now get a pencil...

Back Again, and Hungry

Back after some blogus interruptus here. I guess with all the blogging going on around me it seems a bit forced, at least for me. Plus work has been more anxiety producing since the holidays. It has been a little bumpy going for me over the past three weeks. Time to shake it up a sister!

Here is actual unqualified proof that I have not fully mastered the new camera yet, but my limited design sense hopes that there is enough orange to compliment this site's cramped palette.

My resolutions to write more here, and write specifcally about food have come to naught so far. How fast do I leave best intentions howling at the back door trying to get into my life? Ah resolutions. Many folks are earnestly working out at this time of year for example. Exercise to me lately has been changing lanes on the highway when I don't really need to...

So let’s do talk about food. Forget the diet. Forget avoiding carbs. Ditch low fat and let’s get out the butter for a lovely little chicken piccatta with capers and vermouth. Is that homemade onion soup in the fridge? It sure is. Why are there 8 different mustards on the bottom shelf? Because I want them there!

Let’s start with some shopping tips for you thoughtful cooks.

1. Keep some staples top-of-mind when shopping. Always keep lemons, good olive oil, shallots or green onions, fresh ginger root and a fresh green herb on hand at all times. Flat-leafed parsley is a good choice, but cilantro, chives, sage or tarragon are more interesting. Add some raw meat or seafood to this equation and you have a million tasty different meal possibilities at your fingertips.

2. Get a good knife and learn how to use it. A razor sharp 10-inch professional chef’s knife is an intimidating object to a lot of people, but it is safer to use than the dull ancient “utility” knife rattling around in your kitchen drawer. Get a good Japanese or German 8 or 10-inch chef’s knife and a block designed for storage. Spend the money and it will pay you back with decades of use… you can even grab it to stab an intruder when chopping onions get boring.

3. Organize the pantry! Throw out those dusty old spices from the first Bush administration. If it is older than 10 months or so it is practically flavorless, and god knows our modern farming has insured that most food has half of the flavor it did in the 1950’s, so we really need fresh herbs and spices. Stock up with good vinegars, oils, whole nutmegs, cloves, cumin, dried thyme and rosemary, fragrant whole black peppercorns, beans (both dried and canned) and whatever ethnic pantry items are appropriate for your culinary launching pad. Fish sauce and chili paste would go into a Thai kitchen. Rice wine, soy and Mirin would be on a Japanese shopping list. You get my drift… douche and cauterize and then go shopping. Make it an afternoon…

Next time: your first sauté entrée!

Snow Tires

Or rather the lack of them... is not the best thing when living in Toronto in January. But it makes for a much more dramatic day when you can or you can not get in your new car and go someplace. Last weekend I meticulously washed and then parked the car under the breezeway, comfortable in the knowledge that it would remain there unscathed by winter weather. However, this serenity comes at the price of getting to work in another manner.

"Honey, could you give me ride to the train station."

"When are you getting snow tires?"

There is something reassuring in the mundane rote steps of the daily commute on public transit. I am NOT a Lexus snob quite completely. The commuter trains here in Toronto reflect the population. They are clean. They mostly run on time. And they are popular.

When I first moved here from Manhattan the first trip was confusing. After purchasing my ten ride ticket I wandered around the station looking for the platform for my train. I carried my little cardboard slab of a ticket in my hand, waiting for the appearance of either a guarded turnstile or conductors who would punch the ticket and admit me to my car.

Neither was there... so this New Yorker stood in amazement as he realized the whole system was based on "honor". Try that in the Bronx, where people are shot over sneakers...

Pit in the Stomach

I woke up this morning with a strange sensation. That hoary old phrase came to mind immediately. I had a pit in my stomach, a black hole absorbing building anxiety and tensions. This process started with me writing a to-do list over tea with Mark yesterday morning. It filled a letter sized page and by the end of the day it lingered on the dining room table with a meager highlighting of only three items which signified them being completed.

And then I read that Jer over at SoBlo broke up with his boyfriend! Poor guy, what a crappy way to start a year.

So cupcakes, it is time to suck it up and get working!

The holiday season is now over. Time to apologize if you are an insensitive boor. Time to check the work email account that is festering with potential bombshells. Time to file away the Christmas cards and other holiday season memorabilia. Time to pay the bills that have already arrived. Time to shovel the driveway for the third time in 24 hours so I can drive out to me the new year in earnest.

Mall and Stall

Here is Willi wondering why there isn't any roast beef in his bowl. Pardon me for littering my site with dog pictures, but then again, fuck it.

There is a winter storm closing in. No, actually it is here already. The six-sided snowflakes are falling hard and fast, and the wind is whipping the snow around the house. Please feel free to congratulate me on not getting snow tires on my new car as of yet! I might as well have bought a golf cart under the circumstances.

We nonsensically went to the mall this morning, as I wanted to buy a tripod for the new camera. Lunch was convened in the dreaded "food court" over a table built for people who can't orient a table with a chair. We felt like Martians visiting the planet CanMallia...

"Hello. Can you take me to your leader?"

"Yes, his name is Tim Hortons/Wendy's. Do you want to biggie size that?"

We ran right home after picking up the dry cleaning, some "fill-in" grocery items, and 24 gallons of white wine.

I just stuck my head outside and the snow has blanketed the yard already... and I better not be made fun of concerning all the food in the house. We aren't going to the mall again any time soon.

Resolutions

A new year has started, but many of last year’s challenges are still with us. So it is time for a list of resolutions, in no particular order, for the next 364 days.

1.) No more bagels in the morning routine from now on, as they swell and linger in the colon like languid fat monks on a leisurely summer picnic. I was doing pretty well with the shaved turkey, blueberries and cashews morning nourishment plan, but the shopping was getting tedious. The eye rolling at the supermarket deli counter by the office at 9:25 AM has to be seen to be believed. Time to start foraging like a furtive elf in the morning again...

2.) Listen more and talk less. Of course this doesn’t apply if the situation is boring, wherein I simply must do my part for humanity and jabber on until laughs ensue.

3.) Save more money; especially after January shoes sales are over.

4.) Write about food. Why don’t I do this? I constantly fantasize about food; creating menus as I drift off to sleep or upon waking. This morning for example Mark was treated to this little bon-mot. ”I could make chicken pot-pie, or chicken ala King.” Now honestly, who the hell says this sort of thing first thing in the morning of a new year? My inner-child is turning out to be a hotel catering chef. Shoot me now.

5.) Do more for others, especially for the Symphony now that I am on the Board. If cold-calling Czech diplomats isn’t working, find another way to help.

6.) Take more pictures. Luckily our presents to each other take care of that nagging equipment problem.

7.) Fold the laundry as well as putting it in the washer and dryer.

8.) Try not to channel Joan Crawford again when suffering through more bad service in restaurants.

9.) Make it work at work. The last six months were a little too roller-coaster for me.

10.) Try and make this site content better; especially trying to improve with things other than lame lists like this one.